My very first dog - and I mean, my dog, not a dog I grew up with that was the family pet, was Odhinn, a German Shepherd.

My ex-husband's sister breeds and trains GSDs. She studded out her male, Samson, one time and funny as it may be, only one puppy was born - there was only one in the litter, which is very odd. That puppy is Odhinn and Jeff (my ex) and I took him. I had Odhinn from the time he was 8 weeks old. He was born in 2000 so I had him before I ever had children. I trained him in obedience, I took him just about everywhere with me. He was my buddy.

When Jeff I split up in Oct. 2004, he agreed to keep Odhinn. I had to move into an apartment and couldn't take him. I had planned on finding a place, within a year or so, that would allow me to have Odhinn. By about April of 2005, Jeff told me he thought it'd be best if he found a home for Odhinn because he was working longer hours and wasn't home as often. Even though he had another dog, a bear coat Shar-Pei, Sienna, Jeff just felt he wasn't being fair to Odhinn, who was a large breed dog and needed more exercise than he was getting.

At that point, I was about 3 month pregnant with Dante and still living in the apartment. I wasn't sure when I'd be in a different place and begged Jeff to please keep Odhinn - after all it was even stated in our divorce agreement that he'd keep him. However, I wanted to be fair to Odhinn.
He was home 12 hours or so a day, with only Sienna. Jeff had a huge run in the basement, complete with old furniture for the dogs to lay on so it wasn't as if they were cramped somewhere but they didn't have the run of the house. Jeff told me he didn't want to get rid of him - he wanted to find a home for him. I was torn but I thought I shouldn't be selfish, I should think of the the dog and what is best for him.

By Memorial Day weekend in 2005, Jeff had found someone who wanted Odhinn. This guy, Al, who was in his early 80's I believe and lived alone because in the previous year his wife had died and then shortly after, his dog died. He wanted Odhinn because he was 5 years old - Al thought it best not to get a puppy.
Jeff was very clear with Al that if something didn't work out, he was to call and let him know and Jeff would take the dog back. Jeff even spoke to Al's daughter and told her that should Al no longer be able to care for Odhinn or even pass away (hey, he was being realistic - Al was in his 80's!) that she should let Jeff know - please don't take Odhinn to a shelter. She and Al agreed. Jeff gave Odhinn to Al and a few weeks after that, Jeff stopped by one day to see how Odhinn and Al were doing. Things were great!

I wound up in this house in December of 2005 and I really wanted Odhinn back, but I knew it was too late. Sometime in 2006 I called Al - told him who I was and that I just wondered how things were. He told me he loves the dog and that they go everywhere together. I was happy to hear that and I felt as though giving Odhinn to Al was the best decision.

Zyon knew I missed Odhinn and that I wouldn't get him back and we both wanted a dog, so in January of 2006, Zyon and I got Angus and he's cool but he's no Odhinn.

I still think of Odhinn and I miss him. I want to call Al and see how Odhinn's doing (and how Al is!) but I'm afraid to. What if Odhinn has already died? What if he's sick? Hell, what if Al's dead or sick? They were supposed to call Jeff if anything bad happened but what if they didn't - or don't?

If something is wrong and Al can no longer have Odes, what would I do? I know we couldn't take him back, not with Angus, especially not after what happened with the puppy - so what would I do?

I am so torn - why the heck does this bother me so much? Should I call?